Twelve? We were just at six!!!!

So technically, my Little Man's birthday isn't until the 25th of this month, but I figured, hey, I was in labor for 23 hours with this little dude, I can go ahead and write about him early if I want to. He's turning 12.....How in the heck did we get here?  He was just six years old yesterday. I have to admit, him turning twelve is not as big of a milestone for me as his turning 10 was, but nonetheless, we are going into junior high school and I' realizing that we are getting closer and closer to that time where I'm gonna have to let go of the reins and trust that I've laid a good foundation for him to step out onto, for when he goes into the real world. But I'm nowhere near ready for that....hell, we are just now hitting the "reach puberty" age and I'm definitely not ready for THAT.

Twelve....dang, when he was born, I couldn't even imagine what he would be like at twelve. But let me describe him to you: 5 foot 4, yes, you read right. He's 5', 4". Wears a size 11 MAN'S shoe. Prettiest blue eyes ( but don't let him know that I said pretty, cause then I hear the dreaded "Mommmmm") that he got from his Dad. Little bit of freckles that still give that little boy look, but I'm telling you, that's slowly turning into a little man look. He's the most tenderhearted kid I know. Not in that wussy kind of way, but he cares about everything and everybody. He cares about the kid in the wheel chair in his class, he cares about whether something is hurting me, he cares about when he says something and you get a weird look on your face.....he wants to make sure he didn't hurt your feelings, he cares about the alligator gar fish in his tank that looked like it wasn't doing good, he cares about the bird that fell out of its nest, he just cares. Most kids nowadays, if it doesn't directly pertain to them, they don't give a rat's ass about it, but not my Little Man and that makes me proud.

I soooo worried about what kind of mother I would be when I was pregnant with him. Before I was pregnant, children didn't even fit into the equation of my future, but once I found out I was pregnant with him, what I did realize was that I wanted to be the total opposite of my father and about 90% just like my mom. Even though I was fearful of being a parent, I knew I could be a good mom, because I had a great example in my own. Believe me, there have been times where I have lost my temper with the kiddos, way beyond what I should have. But I also know that going to them and saying, " hey, moms & dads mess up. I just did and I am so sorry for that.", it's important. I don't want them to grow up and think back on how their Mom always thought she was right or never owned up to her mistakes.

I want him, when he's older, to look back and think, "my mom loved me tremendously". I want him to smell cookies baking and think of the fact that every time he had sleep overs, mom made cookies. I want him to be driving down the road when a certain song comes on and think of how his mother used to sing that to the top of her lungs while she was driving and how he and his sister used to be laughing in the backseat, cause Mom didn't really know the words very well. Above all, I want him to know that he made, and continues to make, me proud. Not because of grades or achievements, but I am proud of who he is as a person (yes, even at 12). I am proud of what he is becoming and what he will become.

I can honestly say that even though I know he will probably never read this blog, he already knows everything that I've said on here, because I tell him all the time.  I tell him how awesome it is to be his mom, even when he's not at his best, his awesome factor to me doesn't change.  Happy early birthday to my Little Man. I love you to the sky and back....and then some more.

10 yrs old here....my Llttle Man child