Just Perfectly Okay

Perfection:

The quality or state of being perfect as, a) freedom from fault or deflect: flawlessness

b) maturity c) the quality or state of being saintly or an exemplification of supreme excellence and

an unsurpassable degree of accuracy or excellence (Mirriam Webster Dictionary)

 

Phhhhshh.  Let's face it.  I am none of those.  None.  What I am right now is mentally and physically exhausted at chasing after perfection.  Truthfully, noone thinks that I am, so why do I keep chasing after it, trying to prove something to myself.  So, I'm stopping.  I'm stopping because I've realized that I am "okay".  Perfectly "okay", and I'll be damned.....that's okay.

 

My family is not perfect.  There have been issues and I've been running around, trying to "fix" things.  Only, I'm realizing that I can't "fix" other people's relationships.  They have to figure it out amongst themselves and thankfully, that's starting to happen.  It will be a long road, but that's perfectly okay.

 

My children are not perfect.  They do NOT get along most of the time and I look at my friend's kiddos and see how they play together and sit next to each and smile and take pictures with each other and I WANT THAT.  Alas, I have a dramatic 9 year old girl and a 12 year old son who wants nothing to do with that and I have discovered that the more that I try to force them to "like" one another, the more harm I am doing.  Plus, every so often, the DO play with each other (if you call tackling one another and farting or forcing a nose into an armpit, playing) and I'm given a glimmer of hope....and I'm perfectly okay with that.

 

I do not have a perfect supermodel body.  I don't have a super body.  Hell, I don't have a model body.  It's covered with stretch marks from babies and weight gain and loss.  It has dimples on the cheeks (the ass, not the face....gawd, I WISH it was the face).  It is freckled.  It has cellulite....OH MY GOD IS THERE CELLULITE!  But you know what?  It is perfectly okay.  It's perfectly okay because I am comfortable in my own skin.  I won't lie and say that there aren't days where I look at myself and say, "God....you are fat.  You are ugly.  DO SOMETHING WITH YOURSELF."  But those days are few and far between, because I have finally accepted myself, as I am now and not as what others think I should be.  And that is perfectly okay.

 

I am not a perfect fashionista.  I know nothing about fashion.  I don't buy fashion magazines.  I don't know name brands.  I don't know makeup.  When it comes to accessories, I have two scarves and I have a handful of jewelry.  I have 7 pairs of blue jeans and tons of shirts.  I don't know how to accessorize.  And you know what?  I'm perfectly okay with that.  I am comfortable with the clothes I wear.  I love, love, love to see other people wear nice clothes and how they put together things, but for myself, eh....I guess I'm too lazy to do that....and that's perfectly okay.

 

I am not a perfect mother.  I sometimes yell.  I sometimes have things fly out of my mouth that I immediately regret.  I don't have the patience with them that I would like to.  Sometimes, I would rather be anywhere but with them.  Sometimes, I want to be right beside them and absorb every moment of them.  Sometimes, I'm so overwhelmed with love for them that I tear up.  Sometimes, they frustrate me to no end, to where I just want to run away.  And you know what?  ALL of that is perfectly okay.

 

I am not a perfect wife.  If the amount of love that I have my husband counted towards perfection, well, then yes, I would be perfect.  Because I love that man more than life.  But, no...it doesn't make me perfect.  Sometimes, I want him constantly touching me, loving on me.  Other times, I don't want him to even look at me.  And during those times, I feel so guilty for feeling that way.  But I know that it's perfectly okay, because noone can possibly feel like being touchy feely, all of the time.  Sometimes we need a moment to ourselves.

 

I am not a perfect friend.  Sure, I try my best to be there for them.  But, I don't do sweet little things like send cards or texts or notes or happy's.  I DO love them fiercely and loyally though.  And to me, that's got to be perfectly okay.

 

So, I guess what I am trying to say is that I am not perfect.  Not in any area of my life.  The thing about striving to be perfect is that you're a failure from the start, because perfection is unattainable by a human.  And failure....well, I ain't that either.  I am....perfectly okay.  And I'm okay with that.

 

 



Whoooooo Are You? Whooo ooo, ooo, ooo

Whooooo are you?  Whooo ooo, ooo, ooo?  (yeah, you're welcome cause it's stuck in YOUR head now, too!!)

Last week, little ol' Dina over at A Plucky Procrastinator tagged me in her Who The Hell Are You post.    I was kind of all like, ohhh Lawrd, do I want to do this, cause I always look like a dumbass and I'm so not interesting and plus, Who the hell AM I?  Lawrd, I don't even know.  And then my palms got all sweaty and my heart start beating cause I was thinking, "what if this is like a test and I don't know the answers and I DON'T DO WELL ON TESTS OHMYGAWDS!"  But then I was reading the questions and let out a sigh of relief because yes, I can do this...it's NOT a test.  I know these answers.  And so I calmed down and reminded myself to never drink Red Bull and take a 5 hour energy again because it's causing all of these weird side affects and twitches, but I was trying to prep myself like the olden college testing days......so anyways....here we go with the 25 questions....  let's get this thing started.

1. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Metairie, Louisiana....officially a coonass.  But raised in Mississippi, so....a coonass with the countriest accent you ever did hear.

2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER SOMEONE?  Jennifer Grey.....Haha...I'm just kidding. Hell, I think every other female born in the mid 70's was a Jennifer.

3. IF YOU HAVE CHILDREN, HOW MANY DO YOU HAVE? I have two kiddos, The Little Man who is 12 and ChunkAMunk who's 9.

4. HOW MANY PETS DO YOU HAVE?  A dog, a rabbit and a bearded dragon.  And although none of them are "Mine" I get stuck taking care of them....except for the bearded dragon.  Yeah, I'm not touching that one.

5. YOUR WORST INJURY?  I haven't really had any injuries.  I pushed two kids outta my hooohaah and that did some damage, other than a picnic table falling over and breaking three toes, I'm pretty injury free, which is amazing, if you know how often that I fall over my own two feet.

6. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? ask The Big Sexy....haha....gross, no.  Really, I can sing.  I'm a singer.  Whatevernobigdeal.

7. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE THING TO BAKE?  all of it....I love to bake, but I don't do it that often because I eat all the things.

8. FAVORITE FAST FOOD?  None of it.  No really.  The only thing I get from a fast food restaurant is a baked potato from Wendy's.

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?  Um, no.  I get heart palpitations just thinking about it.  One would literally have to push me.

10. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?   Their teeth.  I'm sorry.  But it's true.

11. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?  Phhhshh.  Redneck gangstas don't cry...ok, this morning.

12. ANY CURRENT WORRIES?  yep, but I won't bore you with them.

13. NAME 3 DRINKS YOU DRINK REGULARLY.  Diet Coke, coffee, Diet coke.

14. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE BOOK?  Where the Red Fern Grows.  That shit makes me cry every.dang.time.

15. WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE A PIRATE? ARRRRGH....yeah.  but the pretty kind.  The kind that takes baths.  And has good teeth.  And I want a hook.  But not because I'm missing a hand, I just want one to swing around and scare people with it.

16. FAVORITE SMELLS?  babies who have just gotten out the tub, baking bread, and any cologne my husband wears.

17. WHY DO YOU BLOG? I wouldn't say that I "blog"....I have a diary that I let y'all read.  I'm not up to the blogger level yet.

18. WHAT SONG DO YOU WANT PLAYED AT YOUR FUNERAL?  "Let Me Clear My Throat"  yeah, you read that right.

19. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?  my inability to accept a compliment.  And my nose.  And my legs are dimply and large.  And there's this cowlick .....

20. FAVORITE HOBBY? shopping for shoes

21. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A FRIEND? a nonbullshitter......doesn't give it, doesn't take it, and doesn't revel in it.  You get me?  Sure you do.

22. NAME SOMETHING YOU'VE DONE THAT YOU NEVER THOUGHT YOU'D DO.  marry and have two kiddos.  For true.  I didn't think I would get married and I didn't want kids....at all.  Now, I will kill a mutha that says or does anything to hurt them.  Life is a trickster.  It is.

23. FAVORITE FUN THINGS TO DO? eat.  Play board games.  Hang out with my family and friends.  Drink a beer or some wine every so often.  Eat.  Lay out at the beach.  Did I say eat?

24. ANY PET PEEVES?  Oh gawd....I'll just give you the top two.  Ice left to melt on the floor only for me to step in it in my socks, and water spots around my sink....drives me insane.

25. WHAT'S THE LAST THING THAT MADE YOU LAUGH?  me, saying that if a Zombiepocolypse was to happen that I would run and throw the pretty people towards the zombies first.  I crack me up.

Ok now for the 5 other bloggers who get to play along with me (it was originally 20, but hell, I'm a rule breaker and I'm only giving 5)... here goes!

 

1.  SooperDad Blog of Awesomeness

2.  You Know It Happens at Your House, Too

3.  "Bitch" is a Lifestyle
4.  The Crumb Diaries

5.  Diary of a Mad Woman

 

Now....go....do some work, son.  Or whatever.  It's all good.