There Can Be Only One

  I never thought that day would come.  Well, I thought that if the possibility of that day would come, it would be the opposite of what was happening.  I thought it would be me and and my husband moving off somewhere overseas, leaving our friends and family behind, but nope, it turns out, my best friend and her husband, who I thought would remain permanent fixtures only 30 minutes away, yeah, they were gonna be the ones that were moving.  Not moving like, a few hours away, but moving to freaking Wisconminsota.  Okay, Wisconsin (I have trouble remembering if it's Wisconsin, Minnesota, or Wyoming )....Who does that?  Who moves to Wisconsin?  Who moves to Wisconsin....ON PURPOSE?  Well, there were reasons of course....really GOOD reasons, but I can still sulk about it.

   A lot of you know that my best friend (we'll call her Stella) and I were pretty much joined at the hip....or phone.  If we didn't talk every day, then we would at least text and let one another know that we’re okay, just really busy.  If we would go a day without talking, it didn't feel right.   I know that you are probably thinking that’s weird and that I should have that kind of relationship with my husband and for the most part, I do, but with him being gone for a few weeks at a time, and not being able to talk to him any time I want to while he is gone, well...Stella, she’s my go to person.  I would to talk to her every single day.  You would think that we would run out of things to talk about, but nope.  We could talk about everything, we could talk about nothing.  Commercials on t.v., complaining about a co-worker, complaining about our crazy children, bragging about our crazy children, about how dare there be a Lay’s potato chip truck in front of me on the road when I’m trying to diet, our love for Popeye’s chicken crust, old memories....it could be anything.  It’s almost kid-like, but you know what?  That’s what makes us so special.  We know that we will understand why we are bothered about something, or are excited about something, or why we are laughing so hard about something that someone else would totally not get. But we do....we totally get it.

   If you are on my facebook page, then you know I’ve written it before and said it a million times,  but it means everything in the world to me to know that she’s there for me (and I am there for her), and it’s always been comforting to know that we were just a short driving distance away from each other.  Close enough to know that if she was having a bad day, I could drive over with a box of canolis, because I know they make her happy and she would bring me those Smiley Face sugar cookies that I love so much because she knows that if a smiley face sugar cookie doesn’t make me smile, well, then I must be dead.   She knows that even though I call kids stupid, that I don’t really mean it, I know that when she says that I’m making her go to the bathroom that she’s about to pray for me.  I know that she’s way more “Jesusy” than I am and she knows that I love Jesus, but don’t care for religion.  I know that she has memorized almost every single Tupac rap,  she knows that in my head I know the lyrics too, but I just can’t seem to sing them in the right order.  We know that a simple song can lift each other up….whether it’s a video from youtube or something we completely made up. We know that even though we say, “I’m alright.”, when something major has just happened…..well, we just don’t believe it until we drive on over anyway, just to see with our own eyes and make sure that is definitely the truth.  It kills me to know that we can't just drive over to check on each other anymore.  We are best friends, because we understand the totally random things that cross each other’s minds. We are best friends, because we don’t judge one another…EVER. We are best friends, because we know that what we say to one another stays between us (but it is sometimes okay to share with our husbands). We are best friends because we can be silly, catty girls with one another and that’s okay.

   Some people may think that we are obnoxious (I say they are jealous) with how close we are and….well, we are very in your face about it. I don’t know why that is, but it just simply, is. True friends are so hard to find nowadays.   As you get older, you tend to drift away from one another and I think that is largely because you grow as a person and start wanting different things in life and you tend to gravitate toward people with those same interests or wants.  I am so thankful that even though Steph and I have matured and discovered that we care about different things in life, we also value our friendship and adapt it to whatever is changing in our lives.  It would be so easy to allow life to take over and not make time for one another, but a friendship is like a marriage...it takes work and it takes effort and let me tell you....our friendship is worth every ounce that we put into it.  Everyone said that we would probably grow apart because that's what tends to happen when people move so far away from one another, but nope, we still talk every day.  I refuse to allow that to happen.  She is still my go to person.  She is not “like” my family, she IS my family.  I am as protective of her and her children, as I am of my own husband and kiddos and I know she feels the same way about me and my family too. My husband knows how she has been there for me and it helps that he loves her to pieces.   I love the fact that they are one another’s favorite turds. I love that I am Aunt Jennay and my husband is Uncle to her children and that they are NeeNee and Uncle to mine.  I love that her daughter and mine are “BFF’s”.  We were both a little worried that someone would try to replace us in the friendship scale of things, but you know what?  There can be only one.  There is only one Stella.  That's all I want.  Noone else. 

  I have to keep reminding myself that this move was a good thing for them.  It is gonna force her to get  out of that cozy little cocoon that she has made for herself and it will allow another person (in another town.....1300 miles away.....) to get to have a wonderful friend like her.  I have to remind myself that I can still go to Wisconminsota and see her.  It's another part of the US that I have never been to and even Big Sexy will go because, well, there’s hunting in them there snowy woods.  But even with all that reminding, I’m still sulking over their move.  That kind of sulking that you did when you were a kid and your best friend was moving away.  The one where you are standing on the street, kicking the dirt, saying, now what do I do?  My best friend just left in that car.  I know, I know.....we aren’t in stone ages anymore and I have this handy little thing called a cell phone and this neat little world called Facebook, and we will always be on there with each other, so it’s really NOT like when you were a kid and for that, I’m thankful....but dammit....I’m still sulking.

  I do believe that if you had been there, at 3:30 that Friday morning that they left, you probably would have seen me acting like this and I'm not ashamed.  I love her.  There can be only one.  And I'm so thankful that it's Stella.