I Ain't Nasty Dirty. (Well, Not My House, Anyway)

I'm just going to admit it.  I am not a housekeeper.  I hate housework.  I know, I know...who doesn't?  Well, I don't just hate it.  I despise it. It's not that I don't love a good, clean house...I totally do.  "I" just don't want to be the one to do it.  AND, I don't want to pay someone to do it either.  By the time I get home from work, feed the family, get the kiddos where they need to be in the evenings, well...I'm exhausted and so, I just leave the house alone.  My sister in law is anal about the cleanliness of her home.  To the point that it consumes her.  Every corner is spotless.  I think that she must cringe when she walks into mine, which is oh so not spotless.  Matter of fact, that corner.....right over there....yeah, that's a dust ball in it. 

 

So, here....here is what you will find if you were to come to my house on a NORMAL day (not when we are having a party or planned get together...for those, I clean...like, CLEAN, clean).

 

~ a clean, but cluttered kitchen.  Mail, books, etc...all over the counters.

~ an unswept floor (going on 2 weeks now..I promise...I'll do it this weekend)

~ dusty furniture

~ shoes, in the foyer, in the living room, in the dining room, in the man cave

~ book bags and homework ALL OVER the dining room table

~ unmade beds (all of them.  Including mine)

~ laundry that needs to be a) hung, b) folded, or c) put away

~ an empty chips snack bag in the hallway corner (I refuse to pick it up...I'm waiting to see how long it will take one of my kids to do it.  We are on week 3.  I am about implode)

~ board games on the coffee table (Yahtzee, Monopoly, or Scrabble)

~ beebee gun by the back door (for snakes...thank goodness we are getting out of that season)

~ crayons and paper on MY bathroom floor (what...your kids let you take a bath in peace???)

~ hair bows...every dayum where.

~ clean bathrooms (toilets, tubs...hey...there may be dust on furniture, but I'm not GROSS)

~ a spotless kitchen sink (a weird obsession about water spots.  I hate cleaning, but I hate water spots even more, go figure.)

~ a net by the backdoor. (to use down at the swamp to catch food for the pet turtles)

 

Oh, and HEAVEN FORBID you lift up the couch cushions.  I did.  Here is what I found:

 

~ money (I keep)

~ dirty socks (pisses me off)

~ wrappers from snacks (pisses me off even more...how hard is it to get up and throw in the trash?)

~ batteries (dead...again...pisses me off)

~ forks, spoons (WHY????)

~ an iPod (that has been lost for months and they've "looked everywhere")

~ remote controls

 

So, now that you know that my house is not always in pristine condition, you are prepared for the mess that may be there when you decide to show up unannounced.  It ain't nasty, but it ain't clean either.  You'll just have to deal with it....or not come over unannounced.  Which, I'm fine with that, too.