Know Thy Neighbors Well (No...not like THAT)

Oh, Trick or Treating time....how I love thee.  The decorations.  The giddiness in the kiddos ready to get candy.  The cute little costumes.  The walking door to door and talking with the people in the neighborhood that you don't usually talk to.  The running into the neighbors that you don't get to see much and talking with them in the middle of the street.  The finding out from those same neighbors that you have registered sex offender living three houses down.....<record scratching> WHAT?

Yep.  You read that right.  I have a registered sex offender, living three houses down from me and didn't know it.  You know what's even worse?  He's been there for a month.  You know what's worse than that?  My children (12 year old son and 8 year old daughter) frequently stop by that house when walking our dog, because the elderly couple that lives there (his parents), also has a dog and they like to sniff each other.  They don't go in, they just stop by the yard when the dog is out there.  You know what's weird?  About a month ago, I started having overwhelming feelings of anxiety when I would let my daughter take the dog on his walks.  I even mentioned it to my husband, but we both agreed that it was probably because of all the media focus on those poor precious children who had been abducted on their way to bus stops or bike rides and murdered.  So, we both said that we couldn't take away our children's independence because we were scared, but we would just be more wary of what we allowed them to do.  Now, I almost feel that it was more than just the news that had me worried.  Maybe it was my spidey senses going off, saying that something wasn't right. 

After playing over a million "what if" and "this could've happened" in my mind, I decided that I needed to stop and just sit the kiddos down and talk to them about it once I had all of the information in my hands about who this man was, what he did, who he did it to, what he drives, and what our plan of action on OUR end would be.  I know that in some instances of registered sex offenders, not everything is what it seems, so, first things first, I go on the website for our parish that shows me where sex offenders live around me.  Only 3 within a 5 miles radius.  Not so bad when you know that there are some areas that have way more than that.  But one is literally 3 houses down.  Suddenly, it feels like you have 100 in a 5 mile radius.  That is just a little too close to home.  My next step was to register for notification of when a sex offender moved within a few miles of my home and then I registered to follow this particular one who lives so close.  I printed out his picture and information and tucked it into my purse.  Then I started making phone calls to people who could find out some answers for me as to what this man did.  It didn't take long to find out that he was convicted of molesting his 11 year old step daughter in 2002 and was just recently released from jail, moving in with his parents on October 2.  So, for one month, this man has been living so close to us and I didn't know.  No notification was given.  Not by him, not by anyone.  Thank Gawd for neighborhood gossipers, otherwise, I would still be in the dark.

After getting all of the information I could, I brought the man's photo home with me and sat the kiddos down to talk.  My son was okay.  "Ma, I'm a black belt.  If he ever tries to mess with me, I'll kick him in the ballsack."  But my little ChunkaMunk....you could see concern and upset all over her face.  The upset was because she would no longer be able to take the dog for walks alone and that she needed to always be playing with someone else outside, whether it be a friend or me.  The concern was over what if he tried to hurt her.  I did my best to comfort her give her the facts, but gawd....she's eight.  I want to scare her enough to be more careful of her surroundings, but not scare her so much that she can't function alone.  "Ma, we walk by that house every day, twice a day on the way to the bus stop.  What if he tries to get me?", she says.  "Ohhhh, baby girl....that won't happen because the keyword is "we"...."we" walk by that house everyday and rest assured, if anyone ever tried to "get" you, whether it's him or someone else, they would have to go through me first and we all know that I'm one tough mutha, right?"  That seemed to make her feel more at ease.

I guess what I'm taking from this, is that although I think that I am a good parent and I do the best that I can to protect my children, there is always something (or someone) out there, that I don't know about, that could hurt them.  I needed to do a better job in finding out who my neighbors were and not just the ones right next to me.  One way of doing that was for me to register for notifications on the sex offender website.  You better believe that I know the names and the faces of the three who live within 5 miles of me and so do my children and if I get any alerts of more, we will familiarize ourselves with them, too.  Does it comfort me to know this?  Not really.  Especially when I know that in most of these cases, these men (or women) hurt children that they KNEW.  One thing that does comfort me is that the house that this sex offender lives in is up for sale.  May it sell quickly....and in the mean time, I'm getting to know my neighbors....and I suggest you do the same.