Who I Am.

I Am ________ Who Are YOU?

I've been struggling for the last two weeks on finding something to write about.  I mean, yeah, I have stuff going on, but it's not really anything that I can share.  Truthfully, it wouldn't do any good for me to share it.  So, every day, I've come into my awfice and stared at this screen.  "What cha gonna write about today, Jennay?"  Nothing....not a goshdayum thing.  I GOT NOTHING.  Until today. 

My friend over at You Know It Happens at Your House, Too, posted this link entitled, "I Am ______, Who Are You?"  Of course, I read it and thought, I can do that, no problem....only...it didn't take me 5 minutes.  It took me an hour.  An hour because it made me sit down and figure out what I really am.  All I wanted to write was what I am not.  THAT, I can come up with.  But noooooo, she had to give me a hard assignment.  And so I completed it.  Here is what she said that I needed to do:

"Sit down for five minutes. I know that is not always easy, but this could be the best five minutes you have spent on yourself in a really long time. Open your computer, grab a pen and a piece of paper (ACK! What is that???), open up an app on your phone. It doesn't matter what you use, just use something that you can save. This is NOT a mental exercise. You must put this on paper (either real or virtual) so that you can refer back to it on those bad days. Set a timer for five minutes and write. Write using the prompt I AM ______________________. Don't edit, don't proofread, don't change it. You are not required to share it with anyone, even though I hope you do, but keep it close by so that on those days when you are feeling really horrible about yourself (we all know that we have those days), you can look back and remember all the things that make you wonderful."

And so, after an hour (not five minutes, because you know...I am a rule breaker) this is what I have come up with...........

I am Jenn.  Well, duh. 

I am a wife. There is not a decision that I make that I don't take into consideration as to how it will affect my husband, who I love and adore, way beyond what can be described in words.

I am a mom. Two beautiful children look at me for guidance, which I admit, is sometimes faulty on my end, but in their eyes, I know all....well, to my daughter, I know all...the son, well he's at that age.  But let me say that when he tells me that I am the best mother in the world and how much he loves me, it makes me feel like I am indeed...the best.

I am honest.  Even when it's a pain to be that way, I am.  If you want the truth, come to me.  I can't always make you feel better with what I say, but I will always tell you the truth.  Always.   

I am a friend.  To have a friend, one must be a friend.  I don't know where I read that, but it has always stuck with me.  I always carry extra clothes in my trunk, just in case I have to help with a body...THAT'S how good of a friend I am.

I am a singer.  Maybe not professionally, but this is the one thing in this life that I know how to do and do it well.

I am an inspiration.  This is hard for me to swallow, but I know that I am.  I have lost a tremendous amount of weight and have inspired others to not give up on their journey. 

I am loving. PLEASE...don't tell anyone.  Despite the hard front that I put on, there are a few that know that it is a show.  I love hard and fierce.  (I cry when I see people hurting...real life wise and movie life wise)

I am funny.  At least that's what "they" say.  And I do try to be, because without laughter, it's a sad, sad world.

I am awesome.  No explanation.  It just is what it is.  That is all.

I am a work in process.  I will always try to better myself without taking away from what and who I really am.  I can still be snarky and sarcastic, without being mean and ugly.  But I have to work at it.  If I had to grade myself on my work right now...I'd probably be a "C"....but I've brought that up from a "D"...see...honest.

 

Thank you, my friend YKIHAYHT....thank you for making focus on what I am for a change, instead of what I am not.  It was time.