You want to know something that makes me uneasy? Like, really uneasy, to the point where I squirm in my chair, my cheeks turn red and I feel the need to hit something (other than Wheezuh, yes...Steel Magnolias reference there...couldn't help myself.) It's the making fun of overweight people. It truly makes me feel sick to my stomach. Now don't get me wrong, the making fun of people for ANY reason, really makes me uncomfortable. But the fat jokes....oh the fat jokes.
You see, I once WAS the fat girl. I've blogged about it before. And truthfully, even though I've gone from 336 pounds to 170 pounds, I still look in the mirror and see a fat girl. Unless you've been in the big girl's shoes, you will never truly understand this. I know what it's like to be walking in the parking lot of a shopping mall and have a car full of teenagers pass by, yelling, "Mooooooo". It is devastating. I have been the woman who went to Disney World and couldn't fit in the roller coaster ride with my son, so he had to sit beside a complete stranger while I had the seat behind them to myself. It is embarassing. I have been the girl that has heard on numerous occasions, "but you're so pretty in the face". What does that mean? Because my face is tolerable, then the rest of me is also tolerable. That if I didn't have a pretty face, because I am obese, I am nothing. Let me tell you something that you may not realize. Fat people have fucking feelings, too. Just like you. Just like your mother. Just like your sister. Would you make fun of your mother or sister like that? What if you were with them and someone "moo"ed them in the parking lot? Would it make you angry? Hell yes, it would.
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| Me....the moo'ed one. On the right. |
These pictures that are oh so funny. Stop. Cause they aren't. That is someone who got up that morning, put some clothes on, trying to make themselves feel better about how they look, did their makeup and walked out the door, with their head held high.....they simply wanted to feel good about themselves and they did.....until someone snapped a photo and posted it on facebook for everyone to poke fun of. Just as sure as that person is killing themself with all of the food that they are putting into their mouth, you are putting the fork in their mouth FOR them by continuously making fun of, poking at and downgrading them. Because speaking for myself, when I was "moo"ed, I went straight to the Sonic and got me an extra long cheese coney, cheese covered tator tots and a Butterfinger Blurry to chase it down....cause it made me feel better.
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| Me now...on the left. In my mind, I still see me as the picture above. |
"Why don't you do something about it?", you ask. Well, some people don't have the means. They don't have the support of family and friends to help them diet and work out. They don't have the funds to see a therapist to help them understand why they are eating themselves into oblivion. They don't have the insurance to pay for a weight loss surgery. They don't have the genetic makeup to be the skinny chic. There are reasons, I'm sure. Ultimately, it's really none of your business. What IS your business, is to know that, that girl....that fat one....right over there....she's a person. She should be treated as such.
You're beautiful in both pictures. I get so sick of people saying "just do something about it". Because it's not that easy. I read something on Shine (I think that's where it was) that said that if you were previously overweight and had lost 60 pounds or more, that you'd have to work harder to keep the weight off than a person who was 'naturally' the same weight as you. So let's say you got down to 135 pounds. You'd have to eat 250 FEWER calories a day, PLUS work out 30 minutes EVERY day in order to maintain that weight, compared to someone who has always been that weight. How's that for depressing? So that explains a lot of why poeple constantly go up and down with weight. I'm definitly one of those!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Heather, you are beautiful in both pictures. I think it's sad how society looks at people and what is considered beautiful. My daughter struggles with her weight and although I wish she would try to lose it, I don't force it down her throat and I never have. She is a beautiful person. And she is very secure in herself. That says a lot. And like you said, for some, it's just hard for whatever reason. I wish people would just shut up!
ReplyDeleteI love this post! People are really really cruel and it irritates me too. I lost 110 lbs a few years ago and I still live in my "fat girl" body. I am always paranoid that someone might notice my loose skin rolls and I am still living in fear that I may fill in that loose skin again. People just don't understand what they are doing when they make their "funny" remarks. It's all bullying in my eyes and it is disturbing that people can be so capable of spewing such hate! I think you are beautiful in both of your pictures! I also think you are awesome for writing this!
ReplyDeleteI love you no matter your smile, face, hair, race, nationality, because you my dear have a beautiful soul. In my eyes, that's all that matters. Thank you for posting this, I think all women have body image problems, not just the "thick" ladies. I've been on both ends of the spectrum, and have family members who are on both ends of the spectrum now. It's hard to be there. I'm sure I've said some things without thinking about what was really being said and hurt someone's feelings, not even intentionally, just because sometimes my mouth looses that filter that should come from the brain before one speaks. I do hope that this reaches the ends of the Earth and people realize that everyone is a person. Everyone deserves the same amount of love and respect and it is unacceptable to treat another person like they don't matter for any reason. Again, thank you for this post. I hope it's an eye opener for a lot of people, and I know that a lot of people will find that it's something they can relate to in one way or another.
ReplyDeleteOh girl I am so with you! I could write a book. I have been there. Now I am at a healthy weight and happy.
ReplyDeleteThis brings tears to my eyes every time I read it. THANK YOU for writing this. Love you! (Farm Princess)
ReplyDeleteMaking fun of fat people and ugly people is the last socially acceptable form of torture around. It is wrong to have a go at some one based on any other characteristic- socioeconomic, religious, ethnic, racial and sexual "jokes" are now considered slurs, bullying, and harassment as they should be. However, there is an overwhelming attitude among the fat and thin alike that its is open season on the FAT and the UGLY.
ReplyDeleteYou really need to have a kleenex alert...
ReplyDeleteWe have no no words in our house and fat is one of them. In my adult life I have been everywhere from 92 lbs to 190 lbs and all the places in between. I had steroids (for my hair- I have alopecia), pregnancy, binge eating and I also had depression, illness and anorexia. It kills me when people are mean to anyone, especially because of weight, race, sexual orientation, or disability. I'm glad that you made this post, and made it as beautiful as it is. Because maybe someone who posts before they think will start doing the opposite. I used to have a really bad habit of saying "that's so gay" or "don't be retarded" even though I didn't mean anything by it at all. It wasn't until someone brought that to my attention that I made a concentrated effort to stop. And they did it in a nice way, just like you have. Counterbullying doesn't do much, but to have a person say "Hey, you should really think about what you're saying and ask yourself if that's the kind of person you want to be" well, that can actually get a person to change. It worked for me. Kudos to you and this excellent post.
ReplyDeleteI missed it the first time, but I love it! You are BEEutiful!! Here's the thing- in the second picture, you look great, because it looks like you are winning. Like you want something really bad and you're doing it for YOU. You are good enough. Okay, you hear me?
ReplyDeletePeople are such assholes. You are beautiful in both pictures. My oldest sister has struggled with weight issues all of her life. And the man I consider my father is very overweight. While I worry about his health, I don't love him less because of his size. He is a beautiful person to me and anyone that would dare degrade him or my sister would get their asses handed back to them by me. Loved the blog.
ReplyDeleteThis post is absolutely beautiful and inspiring! Thank you for saying what you've said in such honesty. Of course I have tears in my eyes as I write. It hit me right in the heart! I was made fun (before they called it "bullying" Somehow from Elementary School to Middle School summer I gained all kinds of weight. I went from being "Carolyn" to being called, "Cowalyn" HORRIBLE! I was pushed down a gigantic hill at school in front of everyone (in a blue denim wrap around skirt) that I thought I looked nice in )as you say in this post, I woke up trying to make myself look good) only to be ridiculed. I have battled with my weight ever since the Cowalyn days. I have clothes in my closet from size 6 to 14. My own father made fun of me for my weight and I can remember actually putting on a size 0 one day in my early 20's and looking in the mirror to see a fat girl! I've been there, it HURTS and I thank you with all of my heart for writing this post! No matter what size I am, in my heart I will always be the girl that was called "Cowalyn"
ReplyDeleteThank you.
ReplyDeleteFrom the age of 18 until now at 36, I have weighed everywhere between 115 and 200 lbs. When I hit 160 at 19, I hated it. I also hated myself.
ReplyDeleteLong story short, it's been 18 years. I've yo-yoed, and am now back at 160. I don't care!! I must have learned how to love myself more because I'm happier at 160 than I was at 120 when I was torturing myself to keep the weight off.