Automatic Failure, I think Not.

So, I'm about to go on a journey.  A crazy, stupid one.  Especially for someone at my age, but you know what?  I'm trying to teach my kids a lesson in following a dream.  Even at 37 years old. 

All my life, I've loved music.  All of it.  Growing up as a Pentecostal, I was only supposed to listen to Christian music, but I was a "sinner" at an early age and had numerous country music albums that I listened to on the regular.  As I got to be a teenager, I started loving the "dirty" stuff.  Prince, oh Prince how I loved him.  I also loved Christian music and I was adamant that when I grew up, I was gonna be a singer for the Lanny Wolfe Trio.  That dream changed over time.  (So did Lanny Wolfe, but that's a whole nother blog) I still wanted to be a singer, but a country music singer.  I had it all planned out.  I was moving to Nashville, gonna go to college there, find a little job and try to sing at night.  My plan was set for me to move that Summer of 1997, but then The Big Sexy and I reconnected, fell in love and married three years later.  The dream of moving to Nashville was pushed to the side.  I sang in local country bands, but as time went on, I got on the large side and didn't feel comfortable being on stage in front of people. My husband knew how much I loved singing and kept encouraging me to go back to it and I promised him that when I lost weight, I would.

Well, six years have passed.  I've lost weight.  What is my excuse?  The Big Sexy says that for every excuse I've got, he has a solution.  Well, hell....how do I combat that?  I can't.  Everyone always says, "You should try out for American Idol."  My response is that I'm too old.  "X Factor?"  Simon would have me a sniveling mess.  "America's Got Talent" uh...look, now, they have jugglers and people who dive in kiddie pools from 100 feet up.  No, thanks.  But there is one show.  Just one, that I would consider trying out for and so at 37 years old, I'm just gonna do it. 

The Voice.  It's the only one that once you get past the initial first two auditions, that has the "celebrity judges" with their backs to you while you perform, judging you by your voice....not your looks, not whether you have the "it" factor.  Yeah, I know...I'm probably kidding myself.  But you know what, I don't care.  I'm doing it.  People may make fun of me and think I'm stupid for even trying, but you know what, it's my choice to try.

I am realistic though.  I am not going in to this thinking I'm gonna win the whole dayum thing.  I'm nowhere near that thought.  Hell, I probably won't even make it past the first round in Memphis.  What I do know is that if you don't try for something when you know the talent is in you, then you are an automatic failure.  How can you succeed if you didn't even try for it?  You can't.  This is what I have taught my children when they have been afraid to tryout for baseball, volleyball, competition dance team.  "What if I don't make it?" they ask me.  "Well, you can't make it if you don't try.  When you don't try, then it's an automatic failure.  If you try and don't make it, then you practice, get better and try again.  You ALWAYS try again."  That has always been my response to them.  How can I not follow the advice that I give them?  Granted, I'm doing this on a stupidly large scale in comparison, and I totally don't have the "it" factor,but you know what?  I'm not gonna be an automatic failure.  Wish me luck.

UPDATE:  So, I'm leaving in the morning for Memphis....I'm nervous...but if there's anything to take from this...It's an experience.  I've practiced my songs until my children beg me to please let them listen to something else because they think their ears are bleeding and they are dreaming about these songs at night.  I've got my outfit(s) ready.  My childhood frand is packed up and ready to go on another trip with me that we'll talk about with our grandkids.  I think I'm good to go.  If I don't get a call back, it wasn't because I didn't try, I reckon.  Wish me luck y'all......Imma need it.  I'll probably get a good story out of the whole experience.

UPDATE 2 :  so, well, obviously I didn't get a callback from Memphis.  But what an experience.  To be part of about 7000 people trying out???  Overwhelming and exciting and an experience that I wouldn't trade for nothing.  I have never seen so many sights and who knew that cowboy boots and little dresses were still the fashion (or are they)?  Who knew that you could have so many TALENTED people in one spot? 

So what next?  Well, the Big Sexy says we're going to Dallas this weekend to do it again.  WHAT?  WHY?  Are you crazy?  Well, no...he's not, well, he is, but he's not.  He's my biggest fan (other than my best girl friend) and he says what do we have to lose but gas money.  He says it wouldn't hurt for someone else to take a listen and I reckon he could be right.   Sooooooo tomorrow morning....we're off again....to Texas, again.....with the kiddos in tow and while I'm auditioning again in Dallas, they will be exploring the sights.  Wish me luck again my friends.  I may be chasing a pipe dream, but at least I'm chasing something.