Isaac the Ass

You know, I'm no stranger to preparing for hurricanes.  I live in Louisiana.  When you live here, you know that it comes with the territory.  Kind of like California...you know there are earthquakes.  You deal with it.  Isaac was no Katrina.  It was supposed to just be a little Category 1 storm.  Whatevernobigdeal, right?  Riiiiiiighhhttt.  

It all started when The Big Sexy woke me up at 6:30 Sunday morning (August 26) and said, "baby, they are projecting Isaac our way, so I'm gonna go ahead and gas up the cars and cans, buy some groceries and get the generators prepared for just in case."  So, I get up and go ahead and get all of our important papers together (birth certificates, social security cards, insurance stuff, etc.) and start watching the weather.  Isaac looked like a little wimp, so I decided to stay here with the kiddos instead of evacuating, like we usually do.  So, I went on to work Monday and the kids went to school.  Little did I know that we were all about to have a week off (some of us TWO weeks off).  When I arrived to work that morning, we were told that we would be off on Tuesday and Wednesday and probably return to work on Thursday.  So, I prepped  my office as best as I could.  Packed up all my pictures and important papers and loaded them into my car.  You see, my office took on five feet of water during Katrina and I wasn't gonna take a chance with this one, even if it was a measly Cat 1.

Tuesday wasn't so bad.  We were just starting to get some rain and a little wind.  We helped my father in law at his house and went to eat lunch.  That evening, we sat out on the back porch and watched the trees swaying.  The kiddos played and watched t.v.  I wouldn't let them play on their electronics.  "Save them for when the electricity goes out, cause you're gonna get bored."  We all went to bed and I fully expected to wake up to no electricity on Wednesday morning, but nope.  We still had it.  Phhhsh.  This shit ain't that bad, I thought.  My husband got a phone call from his father, asking for more help because at that point, Isaac had shifted some more and they projected more water to move in and his bottom floor (man cave) was going to flood.  So The Big Sexy leaves in hurricane force winds to go help out.  Five minutes later, the power goes out.  Okay....I can deal with it.  I pull the refrigerator out and run the cord to the generator, and do the same with the freezer.  Every thing's good.    30 minutes later.....

"Ma, I'm bored."  Oh shit, here we go already?  I thought we would get at least an hour into it.

"Where's your Nintendo DS?"

"I forgot to charge it up."  code for I was too busy playing and didn't feel like listening to you when you said to charge it.

"Where's my Kindle Fire?  You can play that." 

"I played it last night, and the battery is almost dead."  This answer, after I had already told them to save their electronics power.

"Where's your iPod?"

"I don't feel like playing that.  Besides, it's just music."

"Well, I guess you're not bored enough.  Go read a book, while I watch the wind."

After dealing with all of this for about an hour, I decided, screw it....and plugged in a surge strip and plugged in every gaming device I could.  I didn't care if it drained every bit of gas out of the generator...It was worth it.

Thursday rolled around and we still had no power, so that meant no tv or cable or Internet.  We had our little radio and were listening to it, but let me tell you, when levees are breaking and shit...you want to SEE that.  For some reason, it's hard to take all of that in by just listening to it.  After finding out that levees were toppled in some areas, my husband decided to take the chain saw and boat and try to do what he could to help.  He was gone all day and I just attempted to entertain the kids.  We ventured out to see if we could find an open store and we did, where I promptly purchase 5 puzzles, thinking that this would help entertain them.  Well, it did help entertain....but not them.  It helped me.  I had forgotten how much I loved puzzles and pretty soon, I was taking over that project and continued with them until the lights came back on that evening.  Big Sexy came back and said that some areas were pretty bad and it was hard to see people go through all of that again, after losing so much from Katrina.  Anyways...Friday we spent the day putting things back where they belonged, he had to start preparing to leave for work Saturday morning and I had to start getting back in the mind set of single mom again.  Things seemed like it was about to get back to normal or as normal as it gets for us, anyway. 

Move forward to Saturday.  It started it off a really good day.  We had gotten cable back, so I could watch the news.  The kids were thrilled to be able to play outside.  We went to see an early movie....we were getting ready to watch the LSU game at a friends house.  Then, the phone call came.  "Pack a couple of bags for just in case.  Lock 1 is failing and the failing of Lock 2 is imminent.  If that happens, you will more than likely flood."  Wait, what?  I literally felt like I was going to be physically sick.  I was shaking.  How do you pick and choose what to take with you?  I mean, I have my important papers together.  But my stuff?  What sentimental stuff do you take?  Shit.  I grabbed 3 days worth of clothes for me and the kids, a couple of school uniforms,  jewelry, bobby pins, makeup, deodorant, toothbrushes, medicines.  Why bobby pins?  I don't know.  They were just there.  I was shaking.  Did I mention that already?  I put the bags in the car, without telling the kids what was going on, I told them to get in the car, and went on over to my friends house.  I mean, at this point, what else could I do?  I wasn't just going to wait around.  I was on pins and needles for a good two hours before I got another phone call saying that they relieved the pressure on Lock 1 and it was safe, everything was going to be okay.  I don't think I can ever describe the relief that came with that, but what I can tell you is that I finally broke down, into my can of Pringles, sitting in my closet, on Sunday night.  It was just too much.  Too much stress for me and I didn't even flood.  All I could think of were the poor people who did and wonder, how in the hell do they cope? 

We had the holiday on Monday and yippity doo dah....the kids were going back to school...I was going back to work.  Oh wait....no....ChunkaMunk developed walking pneumonia and tonsillitis during all this.  Nice.  Real nice. 

Thank you, Hurricane Isaac.  Thank you so much for all of the stress.  No, the walking pneumonia and tosillitis wasn't your fault, really, but I'm blaming you anyway.  That's just what happens.  When you are an ass, you get blamed for the assholey things.  I reckon.